I Don’t Know What This Is

I don’t even know what I’m doing right now.

I'm just... here? Somewhere? Nowhere? God, I'm tired. Not like normal tired. More like atoms-refusing-to-stay-assembled tired. The kind where scrolling feels like work and breathing feels bureaucratic.

I should probably make something. Or not. Whatever. Maybe just one small thing that doesn't need to be explained or hashtagged or turned into a newsletter. Just a whisper of a thing that exists because I briefly did.

I want to vanish completely but also be seen completely but also be left completely alone but also please don't forget I exist. Contradictions are exhausting but so is everything else so whatever.

I want to sleep until retirement age. But also dance until my legs give out. But also stare blankly at walls. But also finish that project I abandoned when I still believed in things. But also I want permission to produce absolutely nothing and still matter.

I don't want to be perceived as a collection of marketable skills. I don't want to optimize my existence. I just want to be this mess of a human who occasionally makes a noise that sounds like the truth when played backward.

No strategy. No journey. No arc. No lesson. Just me vibrating at whatever frequency this is. Take it or don't. I'll be over here being everything and nothing all at the same time.